Dreams.

I have some of the most effed up dreams. Like…seriously.  Effed up. Most of them are bad but sometimes I’ll get a goodie. Some of them also come true, so now that I have this blog, I’ll put them here so people know I’m not blowing smoke. Yep. I’m psychic. At least twice a year. For example, Christmas time, 2016, I received a gift from my aunt with a card saying to stay close to my phone for a Christmas Eve call. What the hell? They don’t send me gifts. Hmmmm. That was a week or so before Christmas but that night of the day I received the card, I had a dream. A ridiculous dream. I was with my cousins, Christie and Samantha. We are close in age and had THE best times when we were growing up, They are some of the fondest memories I have of my childhood. Makes me sad for my boys that they don’t have cousins near their age, living close by. They’re gonna miss out on that and I get bummed about it.  But this isn’t about them. Back to ME. In my dream, my cousins and I were adults celebrating Christmas with the entire family. Three gifts were left under the tree. One for each of us. Everyone was so excited for us to open them and we were all like, “what the hell is going on?” Adults aren’t even supposed to get gifts anymore, so what gives? We are handed out gifts So, we open our gifts at the same time and they are UNDEROOS! Grown-up Underoos, y’all!  The entire family starts to chant for us to try them on and because this is a dream and we all had smoking bodies and nerves of steel, we did. We strutted out there, beer bottle microphones in hand,  and stood on the hearth of the fireplace and sang Dancing Queen for the masses, just like we did when we were little. (There’s a video somewhere.) I’m not sure when we came up with a choreographed number but it was dream and we were crushing it. And everyone laughed and clapped because we were awesome. The End. I told my daughter and husband about it, so I’ve got proof that I am not making this up. Now, Christmas Eve rolls around. I’m celebrating Christmas in Texas while missing my family who is celebrating in Kentucky. I’ve got my phone close. Not too close because I think I actually missed the first call they made to me. But I eventually have it close and I receive the call. I chat with the family for a little bit on facetime and then I see that they’ve got Christie and Samantha sitting together with unopened gifts on their laps. Wtf is going on here? This CAN NOT be happening. I dreamt this. I AM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH TO SING ABBA YET. So, they tell all of us to open our gifts at the same time. What the ever-lovin’ hell?! They were UNDEROOS! Grown-up WONDER WOMAN Underoos, y’all! The whole family goes bananas and we all howled with laughter but thank gawd nobody asked us to put them on and sing Dancing Queen. I was with my in-laws and I just don’t think they’re ready for that yet.  I do wear them occasionally because they make me feel like a badass with some kickass vocals. Just like when I was 6. I swear to Pete that this is all true. That was just one of them. Crossing fingers that praying to Beavis that the one I had last night doesn’t happen. It involves a construction worker on a roof and my Jeep parked in a very unfortunate spot. See??? Effed up.